I have started stitching again. This may seem trivial but in the weeks after my sister's death (even now I really wanted to type murder but thought I shouldn't), I stitched to keep my mind as blank as possible. It helped keep me company in the lonely hours of the night when I couldn't sleep. This wasn't the first time I stitched through a crisis and won't be the last.
After a couple months, I put the project I had started away. Once the immediate onslaught of emotions washed through me, I knew that stitching would allow my mind to wander too much. I put away my stitching for a year and a half.
Something I did not expect, I can't pick up the project that I started without those first emotions jolting through me. It is bizarre. I have had no problems completing other crisis pieces. This is new territory for me. I want to finish it. It is for my Goddaughter. Yet, these emotions grip me when I try. Usually I can bend my emotions to my will. Subvert them. Nope, not in this case. Perhaps in a few more months I will try again.
Until then, I am starting a fresh project. It is very complicated and most likely will take a year or more.
I guess I am writing all of this to let you know that grief isn't predictable and just when you think you are fine, it has a way of saying... maybe not yet, but soon.
