Now, if you can finish that with, "when I was in pigtails", then you really know your blues. My Dad loved that song, and I used to play it on the piano for him. Rosemary Clooney does an excellent job of singing it. "The Blues in the Night" is the name of that song. It has been ringing through my brain for a couple of days. His birthday was a couple days ago. He would have been 73. Crazy. He's been gone almost 16 years. He loved the blues, and I guess through years of listening, I do too.
My sister's birthday is coming up and she would be 41 this year. Life is so crazy and short. Although in my case, if FEELS very long!!
I was talking tonight to my cousin. He is my sounding board for all things spiritual. I was telling him how sometimes I get so angry and down on myself for not being a pillar of strength faith-wise like Abraham. I mean, that guy, he was on the downward swing with the knife before he was told to stop. That is some FAITH. I told him whenever I feel bad, I think about Peter. I mean, here is a guy who was with Jesus 24/7. He saw all those miracles first hand. He lived with the Son of the Living God. He talked to Him. Asked Him questions. Jesus was his BFF!! I mean, if anyone is going to be knocking it out of the park every time, it is this guy. Right? No. In fact, I go to the time where he was sinking in the waves. See, he had scrambled over that boat and run to Jesus - ON THE WATER! Didn't hesitate! Over the side he went and he was booking it. Then, he looks around. Circumstances. Wham, he is sinking and fast. He was just walking on the freaking water and then, sinking. He cried out in fear for help. Jesus helped him. Then, they walked on the water back to the boat.
If you haven't seen my point, or I am just rusty in making one, since it's been a while since I've written..then it is this. If someone can do the impossible and then get scared and fall, and that person lived face to face with Jesus, then I guess I can cut myself some slack. I mean, we are doing this all on faith, not by sight. We are following the greatest love story ever told, the only true love story ever told. We are souls caught up in an epic fight for our eternal destinies, and it is foolish to think that it will be easy or the way will be smooth. God doesn't want that. He wants us to become strong warriors, but He also gets that sometimes we are going to sink. I think He would prefer we call out to Him when our shoes got wet, and not when we are practically drowning, but He leaves that choice up to us.
I have been sinking - drowning really - lately. It is all my own doing. I have been so stubborn to call out to the One who Loves my Soul. I have been too angry to open my hand and my heart to Him. It is my own fault. The Blues. They are wailing. I know I am not alone even in my stubbornness, He is there waiting to catch me.
Your,
Miss Magnificent
No comments:
Post a Comment