Come to Jesus and LIVE - A vision

I have been trying to find a way to write what happened to me about 4 months ago. This is my poor attempt. 

First a little background. When I got the news that Leslie had been killed, I remember saying “She’ll never have another chance!” This was the cry of a loving sister who didn’t want her baby sister to suffer hell. It was the cry of someone who did not know the state of her sister’s soul. Here’s a quick tip: that is not our job. That is God’s job. However, that is how I felt in that moment. 

Over the next months, I had a peace inside that could only have come from the Holy Spirit…a peace that Leslie in fact was in heaven. How did I know this? It was just something deep inside me that said, “She is ok.” Anyone who grew up as we did, having been taught about a loving Savior, would certainly, in a time of crisis, call out to Jesus--and that comforted me.

I wrestled with many things during the grieving process. I was really tormented by the way she died. For months nearly every night I had nightmares, waking up screaming. Even though I have never seen an autopsy report, I can probably be pretty accurate in where her wounds were because I felt them every time I woke up from a nightmare. I could not deal with the fact that her last moments were hate-filled and horrific. It haunted me awake or asleep.

Finally, I had to deal with the basic questions of faith. Does God love me…yes or no? Yes. If He loves me, then He wants the best for me…yes or no? If the answer is yes, then is it also true that God loves Leslie and wants the best for her. If that is true, even though I don’t understand it, perhaps the circumstances, horrific as they were, were for her best. 
I could not wrap my human mind around it, but I did have faith in who God is and that He knows far more than I ever will.
This is the place of peace I had come to, when the following happened to me:

I was a work. It was about a month before the anniversary of Leslie’s death. I was all alone. I had my iPod going and was listening to music. This song came on. I have no memory of purchasing this song; but sometimes, iTunes will say, “if you like this, you might like that….” And perhaps that is how I came to own this song. 
It starts: 
“Weak and wounded sinner 
Lost and left to die 
O, raise your head, for love is passing by”
I saw Leslie falling to the ground and her head bouncing as she fell. A light, brilliant and beautiful, flashed right in front of her. Her eyes widened and a look of surprise filled her face. She tried to get up on all fours and shook her head to clear away what she was seeing. I saw her start to rise.
The next part of the song came on, 
“Now your burden's lifted 
And carried far away 
And precious blood has washed away the stain”

I saw the blood of Jesus mingle with her blood, almost like a waterfall that flowed between her and the man who was hurting her, completely consuming her attention so that she neither saw nor felt anything else that happened. She was totally overwhelmed with the rapture of the moment.

“And like a newborn baby 
Don't be afraid to crawl 
And remember when you walk 
Sometimes we fall...so 
Fall on Jesus 
Fall on Jesus 
Fall on Jesus and live!” 

As these words were being sung, I saw her fall backwards and look up in surprise as Jesus was catching her and holding her. The look on her face said, “I know you and you are here and I can’t believe it.” 

The rest I saw in shadow. I saw her body arching up as if she was being carried, and then the words came, 
“Sometimes the way is lonely 
And steep and filled with pain 
So if your sky is dark and pours the rain, then 
Cry to Jesus 
Cry to Jesus 
Cry to Jesus and live!”

The amazing thing was as her body fell backward, her spirit came out of her body. So, what I saw was the shadow of this world and the brilliance of the heavenly realm. As she started looking around, the peace and love that was infusing her face transformed her. She was the Leslie that I always saw in my heart, that innocent, loving, sweet, joyful girl. She was free. She was joy-soaked. This was everything I was seeing as the next part of the song was playing, 
“O, and when the love spills over 
And music fills the night 
And when you can't contain your joy inside, then 
Dance for Jesus 
Dance for Jesus 
Dance for Jesus and live!”

“And with your final heartbeat 
Kiss the world goodbye 
Then go in peace, and laugh on Glory's side, and
Fly to Jesus 
Fly to Jesus 
Fly to Jesus and live!”

She never looked back at her body. All she could see, as her body was dying was Jesus. She had no knowledge of what was happening to her body. She was surrounded by the great cloud of witnesses cheering her home. She ran to Jesus and kept running, and she was dancing and clapping her hands. God spoke to my heart and He said to me, “Marie, I love her so much that I would never let horror be her last moments. Her last moments on earth were heaven come down. All she felt was love. All she saw was love. All she knew was love. Weep not, for she lives.”

I was crying so hard. I mean heaving, sobbing crying. I had come to terms with who I knew God to be, and then, as a gift, He gave me this. I will never forget it. It showed me so much about God’s heart. How much He pursues us, until our dying breath. He doesn’t want anyone to perish to hell. He will do whatever it takes to bring His beloved home. Leslie had a choice. In those moments, when God revealed Himself to her, she could have turned away. She could have refused to call His name. She did not. She knew the Shepherd when she saw Him. 

I have attached the lyrics.

Chris Rice - Untitled Hymn (Come To Jesus) Lyrics
Weak and wounded sinner 
Lost and left to die 
O, raise your head, for love is passing by 
Come to Jesus 
Come to Jesus 
Come to Jesus and live! 

Now your burden's lifted 
And carried far away 
And precious blood has washed away the stain, so 
Sing to Jesus 
Sing to Jesus 
Sing to Jesus and live! 

And like a newborn baby 
Don't be afraid to crawl 
And remember when you walk 
Sometimes we fall...so 
Fall on Jesus 
Fall on Jesus 
Fall on Jesus and live! 

Sometimes the way is lonely 
And steep and filled with pain 
So if your sky is dark and pours the rain, then 
Cry to Jesus 
Cry to Jesus Cry to Jesus and live! 

O, and when the love spills over 
And music fills the night 
And when you can't contain your joy inside, then 
Dance for Jesus 
Dance for Jesus 
Dance for Jesus and live! 

And with your final heartbeat 
Kiss the world goodbye 
Then go in peace, and laugh on Glory's side, and
Fly to Jesus 
Fly to Jesus 
Fly to Jesus and live!