Tuesday, November 13, 2012

Standing Apart

Question on my mind today, "Who am I apart from my past?"  Ok, that is just a very broad question.  I guess what is rolling around inside my head (beside the marbles) is, if I am no longer a caretaker, and no longer the person I was, who am I now?"  If you have the answer, you can tell me.  I sure don't know what it is.  I find it is a journey.  Letting go of the past and the old defense mechanisms is freeing and terrifying all at once.

All I know, is that God is surely reshaping my mind and reshaping my spirit.  I can feel His fingers combing through my mind and plucking out things that aren't healthy.  I am joyful for this, but I will tell you it's like having a major makeover and when the chair turns around, you don't recognize yourself.  You know it is you, but it's a you that you never imagined.  That is what going on with me right now.  I am experiencing growing pains and growth spurts.  Remembering to be thankful for them both.

I am totally disjointed today, probably because I have been sick for 8 days.  I think the Lupus train has taken over the stomach virus and is trying to run away with my immune system.

Knowing that I am being healed in every way.  I will remain your Miss M.

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